“So you don’t cheer for your son”

Back in February 2016 my son attended the Georgia 10 and Under Short Course Championship. He did very well but not as well as we had expected. He had just come off of a bus trip from Washington DC the weekend before and was physically and probably mentally drained. Regardless he went to the meet and said he performed at his absolute best so I was proud! As we are leaving he asked “mom can I get a sweatshirt?” Now any parent that has children that are active in sports knows how this goes….You walk up to the t-shirt vendor, the t-shirts are usually $30 or more and you start thinking what you could buy with this $30 instead of a t-shirt that your child will outgrow by the end of the month!!!! (Well at least I think that way) So his dad took him over to the stand and $75 later he comes back with a very nice white “active” sweatshirt with a very spiffy print on the front commemorating that he had been at the Georgia State Championship Meet in 2016. Then he turns around to the back and I instantly cringe……On the back his dad allowed him to get the words “I’M SO GOOD YOUR MOM CLAPS FOR ME”. Now in my mind I was thinking how totally unacceptable it was and how rude it came across but the more I thought about it…..it was a very true statement!

Fast forward to April 2016 the first meet of the Long Course Season . My son had taken approximately 8 months off from swimming to “get it together” in school. He had not been to a long course meet in over a year, so going into this meet he was very determined to just get good times and get comfortable with swimming in a long course pool again. He was not looking to get first place and honestly he wasn’t looking to place in the top 10 but he had a goal and he made it clear so I was just rolling with it. His first event came up and he did fairly well, he looked exhausted afterwards, his form was bad and his technique for long course just wasn’t there! As my son swam I watched his every move and took mental notes to tell him about after he got out the water. When his second event came up I did the exact same thing, I just sat and took notes. I occasionally yelled “Kick son” or “Go son” but nothing more than that. As the event ended a young woman came up to me and said “Ma’am is that your son?” as she pointed at my son I said to her “Yes that is” She then proceeded to go into this long, one sided discussion about how if I had cheered for my son that he would have been going faster, he probably would have heard me and would have beat the little boy that was swimming next to him as they were going neck and neck. After she had finished rambling about her enthusiasm for each child on our team that gets in the water and how loud she would continue to cheer  as all of the kids swam I simply turned to her and said “my son doesn’t like for me to cheer for him” (which is a partially true statement). As she walked away I questioned myself “damn, should I be cheering for my son?” Up comes his 3rd event, this time I sat up in my chair and was actually going to do it, I was going to cheer for him because maybe this lady was right, I needed to cheer him on. So as I waited for all the kids to step on the blocks someone(not me) yelled my son’s name as a form of encouragement. I was a  little distracted by it so I missed him dive in and begin the race. I waited for him to get in his groove and like a lump in my throat his name was ready to come up but as I started to yell “Go Z” someone else beat me to it. Then I stopped to look around and there were parents on my team in the stands, standing up, yelling, cheering and clapping for my son. So guess what I did, I sat down and studied his strokes and began to take mental notes. While my son is swimming an important meet such as  this one, where he is not looking to be in competition he is looking to strengthen strokes and get “good ” times sometimes I am not able to cheer. I am too busy focusing on how he can improve upon what he is currently doing. Now don’t get me wrong his coaches do a wonderful job at letting him know how he swam an event and what he can do to improve but when he comes to me after an event, he is not only looking for a “good job son” he is looking for some advice and encouragement to approve upon what he just did. It shows him that I care and that I am paying attention to what he is doing. There are times at  your child’s sporting event you have to wear a  different hat sometimes it’s “Mom” sometimes it’s “Coach”. My son is passionate about what he is doing, my job is to nurture his passion in any way possible without becoming overbearing. I have to let him lead and I will simply follow. My rules are very simple when it comes to sports, if you want it, you gotta go get it, I can’t perform for you!

So to this unknown woman who asked me “So you don’t  cheer for your son?” My answer is simply “No,because he is so good YOU clap for him”